Happy National Dance Day.

You know, a year ago, this day was big to me but it didn't have the meaning it does now. Now I can truly say that I am a dancer. Just a dancer and nothing else. It defines me, it is my life and honestly, I couldn't be happier.
A year ago I was just an English major. Sure I planned to keep dancing but I didn't see it as being a big part of my life. I thought I would do the sensible thing and maybe do a few dance related things after college but then I would move on and get a "real" job. Ha.
After first semester this year I knew I wasn't happy. My one dance class wasn't enough and it hurt me when people would ask if I was a dance major and I would have to say no. And then they would ask "Why?" To be honest, I never had an answer. I just used the excuse that I didn't go to the audition but then it struck me, why am I not a dance major?
So then I went through the change and here I am now. Again I say that I couldn't be happier. Even though I have no idea what I'm going to do with my future, besides working for Disney, and besides the fact that sometimes it is hard to get up in the morning and have to put a bun in my very stubborn hair, I'm still happy. In dance class I work my ass off and I want to be better, I want to get better. I want to be the best that I can be and its nice to know that I have people supporting me. I have made some wonderful friends and I feel like I belong in the arts department now.
Anyway, Happy National Dance Day. Celebrate just moving, freeing yourself. Feel the movement and just let your spirit fly. Its a wonderful feeling and if I can't share this with you everyday then this is my chance. So go, dance like no one is watching.

love is our resistance.

photos from tumblr.
just things that are on my mind right now. completely random, i don't even know what the point of this post is.

Do you have something that makes you incredibly happy?
Maybe its a place, a thing, a person.
Well I know for me, its Disney. Anything and everything Disney never fails to put a smile on my face. Even today I was listening to Beauty and the Beast while packing and I just couldn't help but smile and sing and dance around my room. If only my parents knew that when they took me to Disney World when I was 3 that they would be creating a monster.
I can hardly put into words what Disney means to me. Just what the company believes in, the parks, the movies, every single thing that they do I just love. I just hope one day I have the chance to work in Disney World so that I can put a smile on a childs face. I just want to do that before I die, thats all I want.

But anyway, thank you Walt Disney for creating something so truly magical. I could cry while typing this because I don't know what I would do without it in my life. I don't care if people call me childish or anything else. I may be holding onto my childhood but Disney has also taught me that I can dream and if I work hard and believe in magic that I can do anything in my life.

"Al your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them." ~Walter Elias Disney

Now I really know that I should never be a model.

So I have just returned from a lovely week in Bethany Beach, Delaware. Nothing much happened but I did buy a new dress. Nothing better than a new dress right? So my friend and I had an impromptu "photo-shoot". This is the result.























oh and last but not least, my mug shot =]

urghhh.

i hate having not having ideas of things to blog about.

suggestions?

Finally some successful bathing suit shopping!

Went to Victoria Secret today and decided to use my gift card on some bathing suits =]
I'm really happy with my purchases and I personally like their suits better than the ones at South Moon Under. I had so many to choose from but of course I had to narrow it down. Thankfully my giftcard was worth a bit more.
Sadly I cannot find the suits I got on the website. Sooo...I could post pictures of myself in the suits and put them here but I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that yet....


Ok maybe i'll post one to show you why I have insecurities...






There's the reason why I haven't worn bikinis until this year. My scar.
If you didn't know already I was a premie baby. I was born at 2lbs 5ounces and I was around 2 months early. After I was born it was discovered that I had a few health issues and I needed to have surgery on New Years Eve. So there's the results of my surgery, the scar. Now I've had problems with this my whole life. Sometimes under clothes it looks like a strange roll and when its open to the world my stomach looks like a frowny face. It also messes up my abs really badly and I firmly think that the muscle is cut in half. I can't do proper situps because of it and I will never have regular looking ab muscles. So I decided this year that I was going to give it a try and buy some bikinis. I was going to try to be comfortable with myself. I'm still getting used to it but hopefully by the end of the summer I will be super tan and even more comfortable with my body.

I hate being so indecisive.

I went to South Moon Under today to try and use my gift card that i've had for about a year. Well the gift card isn't worth much but I wanted to put it towards something. I was thinking about a bathing suit because lately I've embraced my figure, and my huge scar across my abdomen, and said "oh fuck it, i'm going to start wearing a bikini!"
Well of course I found a bunch of cute ones but did I actually buy one? NOPE. I just couldn't pick, and my mom wasn't helping me either.
Sigh, so frustrating.

these are the 2 bathing suits that i was trying to decide between, in case you wanted to know.

You know what I've realized lately?

I'm a very healthy person. Although I can be lazy sometimes once I'm up and exercising I love it. I just started taking Zumba classes with my mom and I really enjoy it. Its got a little bit of cardio, some dance, and it really makes you work. It also takes me out of my comfort zone because its alot of hip movements and such, and as a ballet dancer thats not really my thing. Thats why sometimes I don't enjoy school dances because I always feel so awkward. But anyway, I'm really glad I'm healthy. I know I'm a tiny person and some of that is because of genetics but I also dance and eat right. I know sometimes I can pig out a bit but I can't do it very often. If I have the choice I want to eat in a healthy way and I'll pick the healthier foods. I hardly drink soda and I hardly eat junk food.
I just wish all people could be healthy. I have a friend at the moment who wants to loose weight and I know she can do it I just wish she ate a bit better. She used to be so tiny and its a shame what she looks like now. Of course she doesn't look horrendous but I've seen her look better. I just wish that she could control herself sometimes and lay off the sweets because I truly think it would really help her.
Ok thats my little rant for the day. I just want to remind people to remember what they eat and how it could affect them. Eating healthy and living a healthy lifestyle really does make you feel loads better in the long run.