taking up time.

so im here again, taking up time during my free as i wait for lily. she'll probably show up just as i start writing this.
after two days of stress my schedule has like nothing anymore. i even had to reschedule my video taping this morning for monday. even though im bored...im thrilled.
the past few days have been so stressful. tuesday was a nightmare and i literally had no downtime.
but now i wish it was friday. this weekend is going to be so awesome, i cant wait. even though again, no down time, at least it'll be fun.
so heres the plan
friday: Jonas 3-D movie. the bros in 3-D. like really i think that says enough.
sat: shopping for a graduation dress and then going to Julia and Leahs party which includes my favorite food and Confessions of a shopaholic which i've been wanting to see for a while. i know this sounds crazy but i really want the bros to come to maryland for this strange theatre invasion thing. like im going to be there 2 days in a row so why not? it would be absolutely wonderful. so boys...if by some bizarre chance you read this...come to maryland!
sun: Bye Bye Birdie. oh yes..i get to see tony. ok so the boy doesnt know who i am....oh well. at least i can stare at him right? i just hope Mer doesnt force me to talk to him or anything because i will flip out. god i wish i could talk to boys
well thats my weekend. hopefully ill be able to find time to do homework in there, probably not. oh well, i dont really care at the moment. i just need to get through like 2 more weeks of school and then its spring break. miami with sarah? im siked. i think im more siked about just going to florida than going with sarah. dont get me wrong i love her death but florida= my favorite state and the fact that it is warm!
sigh.
oh so i have to go home tonight and figure out what im going to wear for all these events. and i think i might have a wear your own clothes day tomorrow, i hope. that way i dont have to go home and change before the movie. hopefully mers mom found her credit card [who loses their credit card?] and we can go. dont know what the issue is there but at this point im planning on going to the movie.
oh and so this whole thing with meredith and her "boyfriend". now i dont know the dude but he seems like a looser. yupp there i said it. and he lives forever away and all they do is email. for some reason im thinking that mer is into this more than he is. shes all like "omg i miss him so much it hurts" first of all, you only saw the dude once and then after that you started talking to him. and like they write novels to each other, what the hell do they talk about? i hope he knows what kind of crazyness hes getting himself into.
im not saying im jealous, like sure its nice to have someone to call your boyfriend but im going to wait to have a guy who i can see often. unless said person is a jonas brother and then i can cope.
so im running out of things to talk about.
and that kind of sucks because i have nothing else to do. dumm de dum dum...
yupp
well
i guess this is it. have fun to anyone who is reading this. i doubt anyone does.
toodles.

procrastination is my hobby.

so i'm procrastinating studying for my bible lit. mid term exam. im screwed anyway and i'm waiting for lily to show up so we can have our study session, that is if she ever gets here.
well, I got into college!
DeSales. i'm happy. i mean i really liked the school and even though it isnt my first choice its nice to know that someone wants me.
goucher audition was on sunday and who the heck knows how that went. i was so lost at some points. there were so many people and i couldnt see the intsructor so if i didnt get the moves i was screwed. i thought i was going to do better on the modern but i was so damn nervous that i wasnt my usual self.
i really just wanted to leave. as soon as i saw the crazy good people that were there i just wanted to get the heck out. then i was number 50 so I had to wait for my solo for 2 hours. in that time i got cold, hungry and tired. i didnt know anyone so it was basically me sitting alone or sitting with my parents in silence. but overall i think the solo went really well. i wasnt as nervous as i thought i was going to be and my parents said it looked good. but then again, what do they know?
but either way im not too sure i would go to goucher. like sure it was nice but i'd rather go to desales before goucher.

ugh im so stressed and so ready for spring break. my schedule has suddenly become packed and its hard to find time for anything. its been a charade to meet with Soud over this stupid spy paper. i suppose i could have just bullcrapped a paper and handed it in but then i would have gotten a bad grade, and i dont want that.

ok now lilys here and we have to attempt to study.
toodles.

i'm a second semester senior.

say what?
its..febuary.I have...4 months till I graduate?
what is this madness!
Honestly, am I really going to college?

Theres a part of me that is really excited and ready to leave this high school thing. Its just getting so dull, in and out the same thing every day. It would be so much better if I could drive and get myself the heck out but alas that isnt possible. At this point I really just want to get in somewhere. And at the moment I'm really loving Tampa. I never got a true look at the school but the more I think about it the more and more I love it. I hate the cold and the snow. I only like it when it gets you a day off in school. When I was in Florida over Christmas I realized how much I love it down there. Its just such a wonderful place and I know people which makes it all the better. If I went to Tampa I would have people nearby, a beautiful place and Disney. What more could I ask for? Sure Charleston still sounds awesome but I'm seriously doubting that I'll get in. My scores are definitely not what they should be so I'm kind of loosing hope. But like I said right now, I just want to get accepted somewhere. I want that security of knowing where I'll go.
Oh and about this Goucher audition. I'm scared as heck. I've never auditioned for something like this in my entire life. Sure I've done things at school but never an audition of this calibur. I'm scared that I'm going to mess up terribly or something. I just wish I knew someone there, that would help me so much.
And I really need to tape and finish this darn dance.
and get rid of this mountain growing on my forehead. seriously i have clear skin! where the hell did this come from? And it hurts! And of course Mimmo texted me out of the blue last night asking if we could meet at starbucks. really? and hes going to see me with this huge zit on my face. just my luck.
so what else to talk about....
i want a car...baddly.
i need a prom date. shit.
i want to love my new classes but theyre going to be really hard.
i want to hang out more with people on the weekends.
i want to get into college.
i need a new laptop before mine falls apart.
and i need to find a job.
oh yeah about that, so dont want a job. i'm going to be so scared like omg. i'm not good with money at all. i can fold clothes but money? oh hell no. and i doubt anyone is really hiring these days. but i want the money. correction i need the money.
oiye growing up really has its ups and downs.

well i guess i have to go now. bible lit time...yay? anyway I guess I'll think of more things to write here later.
toodles.